188916 Notes

A boy sprawled next to me on the bus, elbows out, knee pointing sharp into my thigh.
He frowned at me when I uncrossed my legs, unfolded my hands
and splayed out like boys are taught to: all big, loose limbs.
I made sure to jab him in the side with my pretty little sharp purse.
At first he opened his mouth like I expected him to, but instead of speaking up he sat there, quiet, and took it for the whole bus ride.
Like a girl.

Once, a boy said my anger was cute, and he laughed,
and I remember thinking that I should sit there and take it,
because it isn’t ladylike to cause a scene and girls aren’t supposed to raise their voices.
But then he laughed again and all I saw
was my pretty little sharp nails digging into his cheek
before drawing back and making a horribly unladylike fist.
(my teacher informed me later that there is no ladylike way of making a fist.)

When we were both in the principal’s office twenty minutes later
him with a bloody mouth and cheek, me with skinned knuckles,
I tried to explain in words that I didn’t have yet
that I was tired of having my emotions not taken seriously
just because I’m a girl.

Girls are taught: be small, so boys can be big.
Don’t take up any more space than absolutely necessary.
Be small and smooth with soft edges
and hold in the howling when they touch you and it hurts:
the sandpaper scrape of their body hair that we would be shamed for having,
the greedy hands that press too hard and too often take without asking permission.

Girls are taught: be quiet and unimposing and oh so small
when they heckle you with their big voices from the window of a car,
because it’s rude to scream curse words back at them, and they’d just laugh anyway.
We’re taught to pin on smiles for the boys who jeer at us on the street
who see us as convenient bodies instead of people.

Girls are taught: hush, be hairless and small and soft,
so we sit there and take it and hold in the howling,
pretend to be obedient lapdogs instead of the wolves we are.
We pin pretty little sharp smiles on our faces instead of opening our mouths,
because if we do we get accused of silly women emotions
blowing everything out of proportion with our PMS, we get
condescending pet names and not-so-discreet eyerolls.

Once, I got told I punched like a girl.
I told him, Good. I hope my pretty little sharp rings leave scars.

'My Perfume Doubles As Mace,' theappleppielifestyle. (via albinwonderland)

1 Notes

GF Music Box: Kelly F.

GF Music Box: Kelly F.

Every Friday, each GF team member will be sharing a list of 5 songs they’ve been jamming to during the week. This is our Music Box. Welcome and enjoy!

 

noname-1-300x300 Kelly Fox
Queer Issues Correspondent

Enjoy Kelly’s “speak truth to power” playlist!

1. “Rent Money” – Bambu

(more…)

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2527 Notes

One of the huge cultural problems we have is we don’t delineate between sexuality, which is normal and healthy and unfolds over the life cycles, and sexualization, or the hypersexualization of our girls.
Joyce McFadden, psychoanalyst and author of Your Daughter’s Bedroom: Insights for Raising Confident Women in “My Barbies Had So Much Sex. It Was Great." by Ann Friedman. (via fuckyeahfeminists)

381 Notes

Black girls and women are rendered invisible and inconsequential in a society that devalues our gender, sexual, and racial identities. And, tragically, queer Black women find male oppression especially brutal. We have seen the manifestations of this most recently with the murders of Britney Cosby and her partner, Crystal Jackson in Texas. Their lives were disregarded, stolen, by the hands of Britney’s father. To be a Black woman or girl whose sexual orientation opposes what has been assigned/ascribed by those who feel it their right to police/restrict our bodies and our agency is extremely dangerous and puts us further at risk of being shamed, silenced, abused and murdered. It becomes a code of conduct that demands obedience and enables misogyny with regards to rape culture. And some brothers have had the nerve, the nerve, to say shit to me like rape is something that White men do, and/or lesbians are man-hating bitches that need to be taught a lesson. All the while staking a claim where it doesn’t belong.

Regardless of our sexual preferences (or as a result of it), we continue to bear the burden of sexual and domestic violence. As victims and survivors, we are expected to remain quiet. We are expected to pledge allegiance to race, which means embracing a sick and twisted loyalty to Black male predators (who sometimes are the pillars of our communities) at the expense of Black women and girls. This is a practice that has to end. If we are not safe amongst each other, where can we be safe? We should be talking about this. We’ve got to stop acting like it’s not happening. We’ve got to stop blaming the victim and start holding accountable those acting out these aggressions. And it needs to happen sooner rather than later before another sista from our community is harmed.

4 Notes

Is the Pinup Feminist?

Is the Pinup Feminist?

1381209_654889245181_1390069621_n Lachrista Greco
GF Founder

 

(previously published here)

diana-dors

Diana Dors, “As Long as They’re Happy”, 1955

I’ve always been a fan of “The Pin-Up,” and through it all, I’ve had conversations with other women questioning this interest of mine. The led to my own internal dialogue–my own questioning of why I continue to like them. It also led me to the question, is the pin-up feminist?

What is a…

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9296 Notes

Genderqueer Links and Books

subtlecluster:

«Last updated August 14, 2012 — this compilation was done by the rad folks at genderqueerid.com»

The following are link and book recommendations, all evaluated myself, as helpful resources that relate to genderqueer and non-binary concepts and identities. If there is a resource you would like to suggest, please use the GQID submit form (select Submit a Link from the drop-down or copy and paste a list into the default text box). See also Marilyn Roxie’s genderqueer tag on Delicious. If you are instead looking for the bibliography for the Genderqueer History and Identities project, click here.

     Links:

Genderqueer-friendly Tumblrs

Androgynites UniteAsk a Non-BinaryBreak the BinaryCloset ProblemsFat Genderqueers!Freedom Centre: FC Yeah!Fuck Yeah Androgyny!Fuck Yeah GenderlessFuck Yeah Gender Studies!Fuck Yeah, Genderqueers!fyeahtransfashionFuck Yeah, Transitioning GQsthe gender bender agendaThe Gender BookGender EdgeGenderforkrGenderPanicGender QueeriesGenderqueerThe Genderqueer ActivistGenderQueer ConfessionsGenderqueer FashionistaGenderqueer ProblemsGenderQueer ProblemsGendered IntelligenceGQ MomentsThe Identity, Sexual, and Romantic Minorities Space!KNOW HomoLGBTQ AdviceLGBTQ AsksLGBTQ ConnectionsMidwest Trans* & Queer Wellness InitiativeNeutrois,NonbinaryNon-binary ArtistsNonbinary Autistics!Non Binary ConfessionsNon-binary ExperiencesNon-Opno gender rulesnullgradePractical AndrogynyQueer DictionaryThe Safe Space NetworkSmashing the BinaryspectrumofgendersSTFU BinaristsT.R.A.N.S.Transcending Anatomy,Transgender Housing Networktransissues101Trans*OpinionstransqueeryTransRadicalTrans* TeensTrans*toonsTrans* TransgressionsTrans* Tumblr DirectorytransbearsTransFessTRANSPRIDETucking and Other SkillsWe Are Gender-Fluid!ygender[queer]

GQ-friendly Livejournal Communities

AndrogynesBigenderBirlsGender Blurgender_fluidGenderqueerGender.queer_FTWGirlfags and GuydykesTransgender

Websites and FAQs

Androgyny Rarely Asked QuestionsChroanagramCrossdreamersGenderforkGenderologyGenderpediaGenderqueer in the UKGenderQueer RevolutionGender SphereThe Midwest Trans & Queer Wellness InitiativeNonbinary.orgNon-Op: Another Optionpipisafoat: FAQ on Genderqueers, Gender Expression, and Gender VariancePractical AndrogynyQuestioning TransphobiaT-VoxWe Happy TransWorld Professional Association for Transgender HealthYGender

Organizations and Events: Click here for a list

Forums and Groups

AVEN: Gender DiscussionForum GenderQueer (Russian), GenderQueer Atheists Group on FacebookLast.fm: Genderqueers GroupLaura’s PlaygroundScarleteen: Gender IssuesSusan’s Place#transchatTransYadaTQ NationWhat is Gender?

Identity Sites

Androgyne OnlineBigenderBi-Gender the Bisexual PartnerGirlFagsNeutrois.com/Neutrois OutpostNeutrois Nonsense

Prounouns and Titles

Art of Transliness: Gender Neutral Relational TermsFreelance Writing: The History of the Indefinite Singular PronounGender Neutral Pronoun Blog,Gender Queeries: Gender Neutral/Queer TitlesGenderqueer in the UK: Misc, or Mx: A Gender-neutral TitleMIT’s Ally Toolkit: Gender Neutral Pronoun UsageWarren Wilson: Using Gender-Neutral Language in Academic Writing

Articles: Click here for a list

Fun, Videos, Podcasts, & Performance

Agender EarthwormFacts About Queers (Humor), Fuck Yeah Non-Binary SeahorseGenderqueer ChatGendercast: Our Transmasculine Genderqueery,Gender Queeries,Kreative Korporation: Yay genderform! (a comprehensive and fun-to-play-with list of gender, sex, orientation, and more identities),Midwest Genderqueerregender: A Different Kind of TranslatorTrans Parrotfish

Education

Gender Diversity ProjectGender Spectrum: ResourcesQueer Teaching TipsSafe Schools CoalitionTRANScending Identities: A Bibliography of Resources on Transgender and Intersex TopicsTransgender Student RightsTrans What?: A Guide Towards Allyship

Sex EdClick here for a list

The Trevor Project: “The leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services” to LGBT youth: 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386) Also available for matters of less pressing urgency, Dear Trevor is an “online, non-time sensitive Question & Answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.” A directory of previous questions in the category of Transgender/Genderqueer is also available.

Social Media

Click here for a list of social media with options apart from male and female, as well as scripts to alter options on websites that don’t provide these options by default

Fashion and Transitional GearClick here for a list

Banner: This Journal is Gay/Lesbian, Bisexual, Pansexual, Transgender, Intersex, Genderqueer, Asexual Positive banner (with flagswithout flags). Designed by nethdugan.

     Books: 

Note: Use Worldcat.org, the world’s largest global library catalog, to see if the book you’re seeking is available at a library near you!

Gender Now Coloring Book - Maya Christina Gonzales

Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us - Kate Bornstein

Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation - Kate Bornstein

Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws - Kate Bornstein

My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely - Kate Bornstein

Books and essays by Ivan Coyote

Grrl Alex: A Personal Journey to a Transgender Identity - Alex Drummond

GenderQueer: Voices From Beyond the Sexual Binary - Joan Nestle, Riki Wilchins, Clare Howell

Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity - Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

PoMoSexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality - Carol Queen and Lawrence Schimel

Queer Theory, Gender Theory - Riki Anne Wilchins

Read My Lips: Sexual Subversion and the End of Gender - Riki Anne Wilchins

Trans Bodies, Trans Selves (in-progress) - Laura Erickson-Schroth

whatever.odt (free!) - JD O’Meara

Feeling Wrong in Your Own Body: Understanding What It Means to Be Transgender - Jamie A. Seba

That’s Revolting!: Queer Strategies for Resisting Assimilation - Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

Transgender Voices: Beyond Women and Men - Lori B. Girshick and Jamison Green

Transition and Beyond: Observations on Gender Identity - Reid Vanderburgh

(Looking for a list of books concerning gender, sex, and orientation that aren’t genderqueer specific instead? Click here)

Book lists compiled by others:

Bibliography of Books Concerning Androgynes and Androgyny

Booklist for Trans Youth on Goodreads

Genderqueer Chicago on Goodreads

419 Notes

The response to “this thing you do makes me feel unsafe or disrespected” is “I hear you, and I will not do that thing that makes you feel unsafe or disrespected anymore.” It isn’t “I love you.” Listening is the required act of love. “I love you” comes after that love is in evidence, and not before. Or instead.

553 Notes

8 Notes

For The Survivors (TW: molestation)

For The Survivors (TW: molestation)

Anonymous I mark my molestation as starting when I was 7.
It may have been earlier, I suspect it was earlier, but the event happened at 7.
My predator raised me as prey.  It was very subtle, very….practiced.
I wasn’t my predator’s only prey, just one who couldn’t escape.
Cousins, cousins of cousins, students.  My predator was a teacher. Lots of opportunity. My predator was an upstanding citizen,…

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1 Notes

Two Kellys Agree: Gender Presentation Doesn’t Negate Your Gender

Two Kellys Agree: Gender Presentation Doesn’t Negate Your Gender

profilepic1-281x300 Kelly Bennett
GF Canada Coordinator noname-1-300x300 Kelly Fox
Queer Issues Correspondent

Welcome to our column, ‘Two Kellys Agree’. We’re Kelly Bennett and Kelly Fox, and we’re going to write a column every week on a topic we agree on. Sometimes it’ll be negative, sometimes it’ll be positive. We try our best to be intersectional, but please call us out if we fuck up.

twokellysagree

Two Kellys Agree; it’s like…

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